"support".. interesting.. unempathetic people don't seem to understand what it *REALLY* is.

and to elaborate further on WHAT it means to "support" me EXACTLY. it does NOT mean to just support me to go BACK to what i was doing when my grandma died, seeing as i ONLY did that shit (go to the courage center and other rehab.) because i DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO AND PROGRESSING WHILE THE STATE HELPED ME TO GET PHYSICALLY BETTER JUST SEEMED SENSE.. HOWEVER- I'M COMPLETELY AMBULATORY NOW (MOST OF THE THANKS GOES TO TRAM HOLLOWAY AND HIS ARP THERAPY BECAUSE HE WASN'T AFRAID OF GETTING SUED FOR FUCKIN LIABILITY- SO HE URGED ME TO ACTUALLY GET OUT OF MY DAMN WHEELCHAIR- which he even told my grandma he'd have me out of when he got done with me). so therefore- amanda is NOT supportive of me AT ALL. i know empathy is hard for her but HOW THE HELL WOULD SHE LIKE TO BE FORCED TO DOWNGRADE HER POTENTIAL AND ABILITY JUST BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE WHO DON'T REALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HER WANT TO LOOK "SUPPORTIVE"?! SHE WOULDN'T. seeing as she's not smart enough to see that- i've pretty much chosen to ignore her since that's what she does to me (even in "emergencies")- SHE'S GOT THIS! plus- my grandma used to tell me over and over that amanda would get me to new york and i WOULDN'T have to go to the courage center anymore. she said amanda knew the plan to get me to new york.. either my grandma is a liar or amanda is just not doing what she promised her aunt she'd do and is making her own aunt appear as an over-confident, DELUSIONAL LIAR. seeing as i don't have time for LIARS or lazy people.. i'm dropping amanda from EVERYTHING. i contacted amy already about taking her name off my trust and she claimed that amanda wasn't on it at all. so.. next person to drop her name off is my healthcare and i need to tell my case manager since AMANDA never answers the phone during emergencies when they call her. the person who is gonna take her place doesn't really have any objections to it. i spoke to them last time i got rushed to the hospital (later to have surgery on my bowel because it had a blockage), they ACTUALLY CALLED ME! *gasps* amanda nor her mom answered the phone nor called me back when i left voice mails for them telling them why i was calling them. to think- i stayed in this state for this SHIT! my family is full of selfish people.. except joe. THANKS GUYS! YOU SHOWED ME THAT I TRULY WASTED MOST OF MY FUCKING LIFE IN A PLACE WITH PEOPLE WHO ONLY SHOW "CARE" AT THEIR CONVENIENCE AND BENEFIT! i'll think about this the next time i'm trying to think of reasons why i still wanna live. you guys are the best. *rolls eyes* THIS is why i have PTSD. thanks jackasses.